The Art of Acceptance
by NAD1983
Summary: Less than 6 months after the Promised Day Al has a revelation that shocks Ed to his core. But life goes on for the Elric Brothers and Winry. Now that the fight of their life is over how will they navigate daily life and adulthood? My version of events after the Promised Day. Mostly canon to the manga with a couple changes here and there.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I of course do not own the rights to Fullmetal Alchemist ::sigh::

 **Chapter 1**

"Brother, I think I love Winry."

The words cut through the silence and turned the blood in Ed's veins to ice. Time seemed to pause and he thought he could hear the sound of his heart beating slowly in his ears.

He had noticed the signs lately but had ignored what his eyes and ears told him was more than simple fondness. Still, he never thought he'd hear those words aloud.

Seven months had passed since the Promised Day. To Ed it seemed like only yesterday that Hoenheim had drawn the human transmutation circle and vanished into thin air, only to be replaced with Al moments later, once again whole in body, mind, and spirit. Although Ed had been more than ready and willing to give up his alchemy in return for Al, Hoenheim, with his failing body, had desperately wanted to make this last sacrifice for his sons. Now with his final sacrifice, Ed found he was finally able to forgive his father for the years of abandonment and neglect. His brother alive and whole was the best gift Hoenheim could give them.

Ed had spent the next month in the hospital with Al, doing what he could to strengthen and nourish his brother's atrophied body. After gaining weight, some muscle, and extensive physical therapy, Al was discharged a month later. Colonel Mustang had granted them both six months of leave to rest, recover, and celebrate. They had both returned triumphantly to Resembool where Winry had cried her tears of joy at seeing them. It had been the happiest day of Ed's life.

The months had passed by, leisurely and idyllic. Winry and Pinako were always cooking with a goal of getting Al up to normal weight. Al was more than happy to oblige and spent breakfast, lunch, and dinner working his way through the list of thing he had planned to eat when his body was returned to him. Summer was just beginning so they spent a lot of time outdoors. Ed and Al sparred and did some light training. Sometimes they just sat under a tree and read alchemy books. Often they used their alchemy to help Winry build her new automail shop next door to Pinako's house. It shouldn't have been a lengthy project, but as the consummate perfectionist in anything related to automail, Winry kept changing the design to 'better suit her needs'. Ed was pretty sure she just liked ordering them around. And although he put up quite a front about how much it annoyed him, he enjoyed helping Winry much more than he'd like to admit.

They had been at Resembool for three months when Al decided he wanted to take the state alchemy exam.

"I want to make a difference, Brother. Even though you always complained about it, I never truly felt like you were a dog of the military. I think we did a lot of good together and we could do even more if we were both State Alchemists."

Al's sincerity had been convincing, so for the next three months he helped Al study. Since Ed had taken the test before he tried to be as helpful as possible, remembering all the questions that had been asked of him. Of course, the exam the Al would take would not be identical to the one Ed had taken, surely the questions would be similar. They also worked on their alchemy throughout the Resembool countryside, repairing bridges, building giant columns of rock, doing anything possible to increase Al's skill. As late summer slid slowly into fall, Al finally reached a normal weight and was even gaining some substantial muscle.

It was a cool, windy afternoon and Ed and Al were in their room in Pinako's house. It was only two weeks before the exam which coincidentally coincided with the end of their leave from the military. Al had seemed distracted all morning. They had helped Winry hang up clothes to dry on the clothesline when Winry teasingly threw a wet shirt at Al's face. Al caught it and laughed. Winry gave him a bright smile to which Al blushed a very furious crimson and looked away. Since then he had been quiet and strangely reserved towards Winry for the rest of the morning.

Now, as Ed and Al sat studying together Al had broken a half an hour's worth of silence with his shocking statement. The silence had only been lengthening as Ed worked desperately to master his emotions.

Finally, along with a skeptical grin, he forced out a reply that felt like a betrayal, "Winry eh? Jeez Al, what could you possibly see in her?"

"You don't really mean that Ed." Al's golden eyes were round with disbelief. "I mean, I'm sure you feel the same way about her that I use to, that she was like our sister. But ever since I got my body back I've begun to feel…..differently."

Ed did not want to hear any more. He was doing his best to cover his panic and continued to use sarcasm as, in this situation, it was the only weapon available to him. "Oh yeah, I can see that. You get your body back and want to take it for a test drive."

"Brother, I'm serious." Al's eyes were pleading. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I look at her and my chest feels tight and my stomach knots. I can't control my blushing whenever she smiles at me and sometimes my hands shake when she's nearby. Is that love, Ed?"

"Aw Al, how should I know?" But with a pleading look from his brother, Ed gave a deep sigh and elaborated. "Love is wanting to spend all your time with someone just to make them laugh and see them smile. It's knowing that if only you could make them completely happy then it would be enough for you to be happy…..is that how you feel for Winry?" Ed ended his statement, feeling deeply self-conscious. Wouldn't Al wonder how he knew what it was like to be in love?

"I'm not sure, but I think it must be." Al looked thoughtfully down at the floor and began unconsciously tracing the lines of the floorboards with his finger. "When I think of her I do have an intense desire for her to be happy. And when she smiles and laughs my chest gets really warm and it's all I can do not to kiss her."

The dread that Ed felt coming on at the start of this conversation had finally been fully recognised. His brother loved Winry. Oh god, how could this happen? But then Ed, thinking of Winry, wondered if it was even possible to have avoided it. Winry was wonderful, and all three of them were incredibly close. They'd been through a lot over the years and there were several situations he could think of that would foster more than brotherly affection. He really shouldn't have been surprised.

Ed regarded Al seriously, doing his best to mask his storming emotions. "And…...and do you think she feels the same way?"

"Oh, I have no idea. I certainly hope so." Al replied, gazing towards the window with a dreamy look in his eye. Suddenly alert, he turned towards Ed, "I think I need to tell her how I feel, just get it all out and tell her everything. Before we leave."

There was another pause. "That soon, huh?"

"Yes. We'll be at Central or traveling for some time, and I don't think I can wait."

"Well, that's your prerogative then. I hope it goes well and I wish you the best of luck." Ed smiled and tried really hard to mean it. He stood up, brushing off his pants. "You keep hard at studying Al, I could use some exercise."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?"

"No, no, the exam is in two weeks and you've got work to do. But next time." He left the room to Al looking back towards the window with that dreamy look on his face.

Feeling miserable and completely disagreeable Ed ran into Winry in the kitchen as he was heading outside. She made eye contact and smiled, stopping him in his tracks. He was always forgetting how blue her eyes were, and how when she smiled they seemed to grow larger in size rather than smaller and crinkled like most people's eyes. Having just come in from the shop for a late lunch she was wearing her standard mechanics outfit today with the cropped black tank top, coveralls knotted at the waist and a red handkerchief as a headband. Her stomach was flat and firm and her chest gently strained against the black tank. God dammit, this was horrible. Trying to put mind over matter he did his best to fight his body's reactions.

Although Winry didn't seem to mind, Ed realized that he was staring. He quickly dropped his eyes and attempted to project an air of indifference as he strode past her, only managing to come off as defensive.

"What's up with you, Ed?" Winry asked, brows furrowed in confusion as he headed towards the door. Ed didn't respond but managed not to slam the door on his way out.

"What's his problem?" Pinako asked from the living room.

Winry frowned. "I have no idea."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A week and a half later Winry was preparing dinner. She could occasionally get Ed and Al to help, but for the most part she enjoyed the quiet structure of preparing a recipe from scratch. Cooking and baking were a lot like making automail. Once the design, or recipe was created, putting the correct components together and using the right measurements would result in something completely different from the sum of its parts. In the situation of automail, something functional and essential would be created and in the case of cooking something nourishing and delicious. She also found it relaxing and delighted in the precision required by both. Small differences in amounts or parts might result in bad flavors or loss of functionality, and all components, big or small, were important in their own way.

Winry did some of her best thinking when she cooked. If it was a recipe she was very familiar with she would allow her body do the work while letting her mind wander, like she did today. As she washed vegetables in the sink she spotted Ed and Al through the kitchen window. They were sparring outside in the yard. The sun had just started to set and the orange glow seemed to make their blonde hair even brighter. It looked like Al was winning, but she had a feeling that Ed was letting him. Ever since Al had gotten his normal body back he'd had to adjust his skills in combat and found that his new size and strength were substantially different from what he'd been use to as a large suit of armor. In the suit he had beaten Ed on every occasion. Now, although the brothers seemed of equal skill, Winry had suspicions that Ed was allowing his younger brother to have the upper hand in order to boost his confidence. Isn't that just like Ed? She sighed.

The fight ended with a roundhouse to Ed's obliques. He flew sideways to the ground and threw up his hand in defeat, laughing and clutching his ribs. Winry smiled as Al offered his arm to his brother, pulling him up off the ground. She couldn't hear their words but they chatted for a bit, with one or the other occasionally doing a play-by-play of the action. Al happened to look in her direction and noticed her watching. He smiled broadly and waved, a faint blush spreading over his features. She happily waved back only to notice Ed looking away as if he hadn't seen her. He had his hands in his pockets and was absentmindedly kicking at a rock. _Jeez, what was up with that guy lately_? she thought. She turned away from the window and accidentally slammed a pan down onto the counter.

It had been wonderful to have them both back, a little strange, but wonderful. In some ways, Al in his original body was like living with a stranger. Practically overnight he had changed from a little boy to a man. Even his voice was slightly deeper. Maturity-wise Winry thought he must have matured naturally, like Ed had _(hah, Ed mature, yeah righ_ t), but to suddenly have his suit of armor replaced with flesh and blood after so many years was slightly unnerving. His tall and lithe frame were part of who he was now. But she had made a real effort to feel comfortable with him again, trying to spend a lot of time with both brothers, and now after 6 months truly felt like he was the Alphonse she'd always known.

It had been different with Ed though. The changes in him had been so gradual that she'd barely noticed them until they were fully manifested. Two years ago she could swear that she towered over him. Last year she remembered an argument when they were eye-to-eye. But now it was he who looked down on her from a height of 5'11". Ed had once hypothesized that he was somehow remotely nourishing Al's body while it waited for its owner's soul at the gate. Winry assumed that with Al's return Ed was once again eating for one and finally able to grow properly. But maybe it was just natural male adulthood since it was before Al got his body back that Ed's shoulders had slowly broadened and his arms had thickened with muscle as his baby fat fell away. She shivered suddenly and headed into the living room for a heavier shirt she'd left on the couch.

Her feelings for Ed had grown in the same way his height had, gradually and almost unnoticed. She really couldn't pinpoint the exact day where she started loving him. She could, however, vividly remember the day that she admitted it to herself. It was that day on the train, when he promised her the next time she cried it would be tears of joy. He had looked so determined, so earnest, so set on making sure she was happy. And he had been successful, they both had.

Winry had hoped that during their six month visit she would have an opportunity to tell Ed how she felt. Although she wasn't certain he returned her feelings, she had high hopes that it would be the case. Was it all in her head or was she right that the looks he sometimes gave her contained more than brotherly affection? On one occasion she'd even caught him staring at her from the doorway of the shop while she worked. She had no idea how long he'd been standing there and he jumped a bit when she noticed him. The opportunity to tell him her feelings had never come up though. More honestly, she was just never brave enough to seize it. It seemed like Ed and Al were together all the time, although that was understandable, and the few times she'd been alone with Ed they'd been interrupted or she couldn't get the words out. The last time it happened she had started to say,"Ed I think I love you." but changed it to, "Ed I think I lo-left something on the stove!" only to dash inside to "check" for a phantom pot.

These thoughts were uncomfortable and she shook her head like a dog shaking off water. It would happen at some point, there was no rush, right? I mean, surely she'd tell him soon. Or maybe, if she kept waiting he'd even tell her…..

Her thoughts were interrupted by Al and Ed's entry into the house where Ed demanded to know when dinner would be ready.

"It would be ready a lot sooner if I'd had your help." Winry looked at them both accusingly.

"I would love to help you next time!" Al responded. Winry smiled, Al was definitely the nicer brother.

Ed said nothing but started to set the table. Pinako came downstairs and they all began to carry in plates of food from the kitchen. Dinner was fun and full of good conversation, as it usually was. There was always a lot of talk about alchemy and automail, and establishing Winry's new shop.

But was it Winry's imagination or was Ed avoiding making eye contact with her. He wouldn't look at her when she spoke to him and when forced to reply to her questions quickly flicked his eyes towards her and then back to his plate. This kind of behavior had been going on for days now, maybe even a week. He seemed to be interacting with Pinako and Al normally though, so maybe she was just imagining it in regards to herself. _Ugh, get a grip Rockbell_ , she internally lectured.

"Wow, that's your fourth helping Al! You better watch it or you'll start getting fat." Ed's teasing cut through Winry's thoughts.

"I am only trying to nourish my once starving body." Al responded with dignity.

"Well you're not starving anymore." said Pinako, "And I actually agree with Ed that you should slow it down. Two servings is more than enough for anyone not to mention four."

Al lowered his fork and sighed. "You're right. It's just that since I've gotten my body back, eating has been such a pleasure. It's hard for me to stop."

Winry patted his hand, "I say enjoy it while you can Al! Don't listen to them."

To Winry's surprise Al blushed a deep scarlet and stammered out a "T-thanks Winry."

Ed dropped his fork and abruptly excused himself to use the restroom. Jeez, Winry thought, whatever's going on it's catching.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was the final day of Ed and Al's time in Resembool. Tomorrow morning they would board the train to Central. Once there, Al would take the State Alchemist Exam and they would both find out their next assignment. Al sat nervously in the living room, waiting for Winry to come back in from the shop. She'd had a very busy day with several customers and had ended up working through dinner. She called to tell them she was sorry for missing dinner on their last night, but would make it up to them with a farewell breakfast that included waffles and strawberries.

If Al was going to tell her it was going to be now or never. Or at least not for several months, so now was preferable. It was 11pm and he wondered how much longer she'd be working. He tried with difficulty to control the reactions his nerves were wreaking on his body but couldn't help tapping his foot impatiently. He loved having his body back, loved touching different surfaces and textures, savoring flavors as they crossed his tongue, and generally feeling at home in his skin. However, he had to admit that some of the sensations were overwhelming. The first time he'd stepped into a hot bath after getting his body back he felt something akin to shock. The feeling of warmth and moisture completely enveloping his legs was so new and unfamiliar that he'd just stood in place for five minutes trying to process it. He'd finally sunk down, laying on his back and let the sensation flood his entire body. It had been wonderful but also overpowering. He knew that this wasn't a normal reaction to getting into a bath and it concerned him. Fortunately, over the past six months his body had become more accustomed to the feeling, and bathing ceased to have the same effect. Still, there were times when he was surprised by random sensations, his body's odd reactions to seemingly simple stimuli. Al figured that he would just have to deal with some unpredictability as his soul continued to get reacquainted with his body.

Time continued to tick slowly by. Al got up and began to pace. He had been planning what he would say for days now. He just wasn't sure it would sound right. Earlier in the evening he had asked Ed if he could run it by him to get his opinion.

"I really don't think I can help you, Al." Ed looked uncharacteristically grim. "I've never done this before and have literally as much experience with it as you do."

"Please brother. I'm really nervous and I'm afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing. I know it's not something you're familiar with but I would love your honest opinion."

"Fine. Go ahead."

Al took a deep breath. "Winry. We've known each other our whole lives. I know you better than I know almost anyone else. You've always been there for me and my brother, always taking care of us, and generally acting like the sister we've never had. But lately I've come to feel more for you than that. I love you, Winry. I hope that you feel the same way."

There was a pause and Ed absently scratched at the bridge of his nose.

"Honestly, I think it sounds a little rehearsed. Just tell her what you've been feeling. Be honest and straightforward and I'm sure….I'm sure she'll be happy to hear it."

Al sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "You're right of course. Thank you. I guess I'll just say what I feel in the moment." He gave his brother a nervous smile. Ed would truly always be there for him.

"Look Al, I'm not feeling very well. I think I'm going to head to bed early. But, I know you're going to do just fine." Ed squeezed his brother's shoulder and gave him what he hoped was a reassuring look.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Al had noticed dark circles under Ed's eyes and that his good humor had seemed to disintegrate as the day wore on.

Ed was already heading up the stairs. "Yeah, definitely. I'll be fine. G'night and good luck, Al."

Pinako had gone to bed two hours ago by the time Al finally heard Winry's steps on the front porch. He noticed that she looked weary, but satisfied. She had some streaks of grease across her arms and one on her cheek that streaked across her nose.

"Al, what are you still doing up?" Winry looked surprised but happy to see him. She walked over and plopped herself down on the couch next to him with a tired sigh and closed her eyes.

Al sat up straighter, his body responding to her proximity and his heart pounding. "I, I just wanted to get a chance to talk to you alone before we leave tomorrow."

"Oh?" She opened one eye to look at him.

"How was the shop today?" He asked, stalling for time.

"Oh it was great! I started on a new design for a leg that I'm pretty excited about. I also finished and outfitted two arms and a hand. There have been so many new customers that I think I might need to hire some help soon. If only I could convince Paninya to move up here." She did her best to stifle a yawn.

"Wow that would be great, I haven't seen Paninya in a long time." There was a pause and then Al continued. "Winry, do you know you have grease streaks all over you?" He started to fish out his handkerchief.

"Jeez, I guess I'm kind of a mess." Winry admitted, stretching her arms out in front of her for inspection.

"Here, you have a streak on your face too." Al moved in closer and gently wiped at the black mark, sliding the handkerchief from the bridge of her nose onto her cheek, just below her eye.

"Thanks so much, Al." Winry laughed. "You know, sometimes I feel like I'm always taking care of the two of you, but you take care of me a lot too."

Al was having trouble preventing his hand from shaking and her face was just so close to his. He was always forgetting just how blue her eyes were. Before he could stop himself he blurted out, "Winry, I love you!"

Horrified at his own bluntness he drew back and looked straight down at the couch, but not before seeing the shock plastered across Winry's face.

"I, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it to come out like that at all." Al took a deep breath, still looking down at the couch. "It's true though. You've always been important to me Winry and you've only become more important as we've gotten older. Ever since I got my body back I've come to realize how much I've grown to love you. I want to make you happy." He plunged ahead towards the final question. "I hope I can be the person to do that. Do you want me to be?"

It was only now that he chanced to look up, his heart hammering against his ribs, hoping against all hope to see her smile. But Winry hadn't moved. The look on her face was far from inscrutable. It was just as shocked as before, likely its expression hadn't even changed.

"I, I need a moment or two to process this." Winry finally stammered. She looked down at her hands, then up at Al, and then quickly back down at her hands.

Every second felt like agony to Al. He did the best he could to control his breathing and tried to be patient.

Finally Winry raised her head to look at him. "I'm, I'm truly stunned Al. I honestly had no idea. I'm not quite sure what to say."

This gave Al hope. Winry hadn't known his feelings, but maybe now that she did she could discover some within herself and grow to love him.

"You're so important to me, Al. Everyday I'm so happy to have you in my life. But, I can't…...I just can't return your feelings. You're like a dear, dear brother, and I can't foresee that ever changing."

And with that final statement all of Al's hopes and his dreams for a future with her seemed to be sucked into a void that had formed in the center of his chest. It physically pained him.

He swallowed and looked away. "Right, I understand…...thank you for your honesty."

"I'm, I'm truly very sorry." Winry's eyes had begun to swim and Al could tell she was doing her best to keep tears at bay.

"I don't think I can stay here tonight, Winry. I'll sleep at the train station and take the early morning train tomorrow." He stood up, doing his best to mentally contain and minimize his pain. "Please tell Ed that I'll see him in Central."

"No, wait Al! You can stay here tonight! Please don't go!" But by the time she finished Al was already out the door.

Winry stared at the now empty space for several moments, trying to gather her thoughts and pull together some semblance of composure. She had already been feeling exhausted, but now she felt utterly wretched. In a million years she had never wanted to hurt Al.

Suddenly she became aware of a presence behind her. She spun around to find Ed watching her with a dark grimace.

"What the hell did you do that for?" He was rigidly leaning against the doorway to the living room with his arms crossed.

"Ed, I-"

"He's the best man I know and you've gone and broken his heart."

Winry bristled, "Ed, I was just being honest. And as it was I think I let him down pretty gently. Regardless, it was still a shock to even hear him say-"

"Oh I'm sure you're SO shocked that he could have developed feelings for you, Winry," Ed's glare was irate and full of disbelief. "I'm sure there's no way you noticed his infatuated stares or blatant flirting in the past six months either."

Winry had never seen Ed like this. She should have expected it though. Anytime something involved his brother his emotions ran high. She could tell he was mad, but there was also a look in his eye that she couldn't decipher. Panic maybe. Or desperation?

"Ed, I don't know what to say! I do love Al, but he's like a brother to me. Anything else would be….strange."

"Would it really be that strange?" Ed demanded. "I'm sure you would love him in the end. He would give you everything. Winry, he's…..he's crazy about you! He just wants to make you happy, and all you've done is tear him down!"

Winry was mad now in the way that only Ed ever seemed to elicit. She stormed up to him, fists clenched at her sides. "I have the right to choose who I love Ed! Believe me, I know how great Al is, I know he's kind and wonderful and caring and smart. But I don't love him, not like he wants me to. And that's the end of it!"

He didn't respond, he only stood over her looking furious. They glared at each other until her body fully realized his proximity. She looked into his face, so close to hers, his eyes although currently fierce, were still the beautiful pools of molten gold she had always admired. The muscles in his shoulders and arms stood out in his tank, tight with tension. She blushed faintly and stepped back, turning away.

"I don't want to fight with you about this, Ed. In fact, I'd like to be alone right now."

Ed, straightened and took a breath. He looked at her again with that same, indecipherable look. She thought it was anger, hurt, and despair all in one piercing stare. "I think I'll catch up with Al at the train station." And he was gone.

Winry collapsed into the nearest chair and rested her head in her hands. She knew that Ed and Al were incredibly close, but she hadn't thought that turning Al down would have this kind of effect on Ed. In fact, she had hoped for an entirely different reaction. For him to be relieved, maybe. For him to look at her the way that Al had. For him to want her for himself instead of for his brother. Instead she was shocked by his utter resentment of her for turning Al down. He must truly not have any feelings for her. The thought made her chest feel tight.

And Al, poor Al, how must he be feeling? Winry had noticed that he had been acting strangely in the past six months, a lot of blushing and smiles, some cryptic conversation. But she'd chalked it up to him getting his body back and the understandable adjustments that likely came with it. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Al, sweet, sensitive Al. She owed him her honesty, though. Sadly, Winry realized that her relationship with the Elric brothers would never be the same. Suddenly she felt weary.

She took a deep breath and tried to rally. This was stupid. It was silly. She shouldn't be worrying about boys. She had her new shop to think about, and there was so much work to be done. After everything she'd learned and experienced in Rush Valley she was now considered one of the best automail mechanics in the region, and was well on her way to becoming an authority in the field. That was what was important, those were her dreams. And they didn't need to include the Elric brothers, right? She, she didn't need either of them. Especially Ed. Especially now that she knew…..

And even though she'd promised herself she'd never cry over them again she let the tears flow, cursing Ed at the same time as she mourned what would never come to pass between them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was a 30 minute walk from the Rockbell house to the Resembool train station. There was no moon and it was very dark, but Ed didn't mind. The darkness suited his mood and he knew the way by heart.

For the first ten minutes his anger and frustration seemed to simmer away just under the surface of his skin. He clenched his fists and tried to think of other things but just couldn't stop replaying the scene with Winry over and over in his head. By the third replay he started to calm down. By the fourth replay he could admit that he definitely hadn't been at his best in that moment. And by the fifth replay he decided that he'd been an huge asshole. Ugh, how had things gotten this messed up?

He remembered back to when they returned to Resembool after the Promised Day. At that point six months of leave had seemed like such a long time. He didn't feel rushed to tell Winry his feelings and knew that he'd definitely do it before they left again. But it had been way harder than he thought. The three of them spent so much time together that he and Winry were rarely alone. The few times they were alone they were always interrupted or there were just stretches of silence that he couldn't force himself to break. Three weeks ago the perfect opportunity had come and he'd finally worked up the courage to speak, only for Winry to realize she'd left a pot on the stove and dash off to the kitchen. That was only a couple of days before Al's revelation had shocked Ed to his very core

The days after he'd learned of Al's feelings had been especially rough. Fortunately, he was a master at hiding his emotions, usually behind a shield of sarcasm and insolence. He thought it was ironic, but his lack of emotional transparency was probably why he'd had so much trouble confessing to Winry. It had been for the best though. Ed couldn't even imagine how his brother would feel knowing they loved the same woman. And he wouldn't dare try and imagine how Al would feel if Winry could return Ed's love. Hah. Those cards were definitely off the table now. Ed could read between the lines. Hadn't Winry made it obvious that she wanted nothing to do with either of them romantically?

Ed felt badly that he had exploded at her like that. He had been irrational and unfair but in the moment he just couldn't stop himself. Two nights after learning that Al loved Winry he'd laid in his bed, wide-awake and feeling awful. It was already clear to him that pursuing Winry was now out of the question, but it hurt to let her go. After tossing and turning for an hour Ed came to a surprising realization. If he couldn't be with Winry then certainly Winry and Al together was the next best thing. Al would love her almost as much as Ed himself would have. He would take great care of her and she of him. The more Ed thought about it the more certain he'd become that this was the best path to get over Winry. Although it would take sacrifice on his part, in a neat and tidy package he could ensure the love and happiness of the two people he loved the most.

The days following Ed's new resolution had been better, but were still challenging. As he suspected, he couldn't just turn his feelings for Winry off. Interacting with her was still painful and Ed adjusted by simply avoiding her. It was especially hard when they were all together with Winry and Al happily interacting. Every time it hurt though, Ed would remind himself of how happy they would be together and the pain would slightly ease, although never fully abate.

Earlier that night it hadn't been his intention to eavesdrop on Winry and Al's conversation. He told himself he would wait for their talk to be over so he could congratulate them both. After hearing her turn Al down and realizing that his plan lay in ruins, he'd lost it. Of course Winry was an independent being with her own agency, but he had gambled on her loving Al, because who wouldn't love Al? Now he understood that he had deluded himself into thinking Winry would love Al because it had been an easy and less painful alternative to knowing he couldn't be with her himself.

Frustrated, Ed kicked a rock, then picked up another rock and threw it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Every time she had mentioned Al being like a brother to her it had felt like a stab wound indicating her own brotherly feelings towards Ed. The pain had just made him more irrational. But it was obvious now that he'd been a dick, a really big one too. Of course she was entitled to love who she wanted. Of course she was entitled to every happiness. He just needed to let go of the fact that it wasn't going to be with him, or his brother. God. Weren't they the pair? The Elric brothers in love. _We don't half ass anything, do we_? Ed thought, dryly.

It would be hard, but now it was time to move on, especially so he could be there for Al. He looked out into the dark sky, seeing the faint outline of the trees against the horizon and the sprinkle of stars above them. He thought of Winry's smile, her fierceness, her determination, and her absolute dedication to those things and people who she loved the most. Finally, he thought about what it would have been like to have a first and last kiss. Then out loud, but quietly into the night, Ed whispered, "Winry, I love you...Goodbye."

With that final parting he trudged closer to the train station. He could see it now, gently illuminated by the glow of several lampposts and could just make out the figure of Al slumped on a bench, looking up at the sky.

Al must have sensed his approach, because without moving he asked, "Do you think it always hurt this much, brother?"

Taking a seat next to him on the bench, it was one of the few times Ed lied to his brother. "I wouldn't know Al, but I sure hope not."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Ahhhh, it feels good to be back, doesn't it?" Ed asked, doing his best to raise his brother's spirits.

They had left Resembool on the 6 am train and slept most of the three hour train ride to Central. Al seemed to be holding up, but was far from his usual, cheery self. Ed wasn't feeling so great either, but was working really hard at trying to hide it.

"I know, how about we get breakfast at Havander's? They have the best pancakes!" A sudden idea caused Ed to brighten even more. "In fact, since you were in the hospital the entire time we were in the Central you haven't gotten to try any of the Central restaurants. We should do a food and drink tour over the next few weeks and go to all the best spots!"

"Hmm, that sounds like fun." Al seemed to rally a little and smiled. "Ok, I'm in. But shouldn't we check in with Colonel Mustang first?"

"Eh, that bastard waited 6 months for us, he can wait until after we've had some pancakes."

Although they both were feeling quite dejected they spent a surprisingly fun breakfast at Havander's. Ed made Al try all of the different pancake toppings and Al kept drawing faces on Ed's pancakes with frosting when he wasn't looking. Ed took a real pleasure from seeing Al enjoy himself through eating. Too many years was it that Al looked on while Ed devoured every delicious thing in sight. He was truly happy to return the favor.

Soon they made their way over to Central Headquarters. On the way Al seemed overcome with the urge to smell 5 different flowers in a nearby garden ("You have no idea what it's like to smell again, Ed. It's like I was blind for so long that I had forgotten sight was even possible."). Finally they made it to the building and Mustang's office.

"Ed! Al! It's great to see you guys!" Breda and Falman, the only two currently in the office crowded around them.

"Man, I just can't get used to you in a real body, Al. But it must be wonderful to be back." Breda smiled.

"It's definitely wonderful, but strange. I'm still getting used to it myself." Al scratched the back of his neck self-consciously.

"Well, well Fullmetal. Did you enjoy your little vacation?" Mustang and Hawkeye had entered the room from the inner office.

"Vacation?!" Ed bristled. It didn't seem to matter what Mustang said, only that he was the one saying it. "We probably worked harder than your lazy ass. Al studied every day and we kept up with our training. I hope your hands haven't cramped too badly from all the paperwork you've been doing!"

"Oh don't worry, they're still limber enough to snap when I need them to." Mustang put his hands on his hips and gave out a bark of laughter. "And how are you Al? It's good to see you." Mustang added before Ed could respond.

"I'm great. Just great." Al gave him a quakey smile that was not very convincing.

Mustang frowned but decided not to prod him further. "Well the State Alchemist Exam is in two days. Do you want to go and rest up and get some last minute studying in?"

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. It was great to see you, Breda, Falman."

"We're happy you're back Al. Looking forward to you officially joining our ranks as a State Alchemist." Hawkeye spoke up for the first time.

"Thanks so much, Lieutenant!" Al started to smile at her but then stopped and just stared. For a split second he just seemed confused and then a slight blush spread across his face. "So good to see you all again." He mumbled and headed out the door in the direction of the barracks.

They all stared after Al in some confusion until Hawkeye broke the trance by forcing Falman and Breda back to work.

"Let's talk in my office Fullmetal, the Lieutenant and I need to debrief you."

The three of them crowded into Mustang's inner office. But after closing the door the first thing that Mustang asked was, "What's going on with, Al?"

Ed didn't like airing his little brother's dirty laundry but he supposed that with this group and Al acting the way he was it would come out in the end anyway.

Ed exhaled. "Al told Winry he loved her and Winry turned him down."

Both Mustang and Hawkeye looked surprised. "Al and Winry? But I had always thought that it was you and-"

"No." Ed answered flatly.

"Are you sure? Because I could have sworn-"

"No." Ed fixed Mustang with an intense glare and felt pain swelling up under his ribcage. He crossed his arms and looked away. "Definitely not."

After an awkward silence in which Mustang and Hawkeye exchanged a bemused look, Mustang started again. "Well, I have some good news Fullmetal. Now that most of the dust has settled after the Promised Day we'll all be getting promotions. The whole team will be moving up one rank, and I'm on track to be Major General. And eventually Fuhrer." This last part was whispered conspiratorially with an overdone wink. "Well, that is until they invite the Council back and change the job title. What do you think about 'Prime Leader'? Or 'Commandante Superior'?" Mustang was getting more and more excited as he spoke, his gaze distant and sparkling.

"They both sound pretty stupid." Ed tried to look serious. "Is 'President Bastard' taken?"

"Hilarious as ever Fullmetal." Mustang responded dryly, coming back down to earth.

Ed let himself grin. There was nothing he loved more than giving the colonel a hard time. Although he would never admit it, not even under duress, he had a lot of respect and even some genuine affection for the guy. They'd been through a lot together and there was no one, except for Al, that he would rather have at his back in a fight.

"Now I'm sure you'd like to hear about your next assignment. We've been hearing some rumors from the East of the existence of a State Alchemy Lab that's still up and running. The nearby town had no idea it was even a lab until things started happening during the Promised Day. Now the townspeople are reporting strange noises and lights. In three weeks I'd like you and our newest State Alchemist to go and take a look."

"Newest State Alchemist? Who?" Ed frowned.

"Al of course. I have no doubt in his abilities in passing the exam and I think this would be a great first assignment for him."

Ed grinned. "Right, of course. Soon you'll have the two best State Alchemists out there!"

"I expect no less. Lieutenant Hawkeye will provide you with the assignment details. You are dismissed."

"One last thing Fullmetal." Mustang stopped Ed as he was halfway to the door. "You guys aren't kids anymore. Please stay out of trouble."

"Eh, no promises." Ed swung the door wide and exited the room.

Mustang raised his glass. "A toast to our newest State Alchemist! You all used to know him as Al, the kind, intelligent, 7 foot suit of armor. But from now on he'll forever be known as the Soul-Binder Alchemist!"

With raised glasses, Mustang's entire team plus Sheska, Major Armstrong, and Lieutenant Ross all cheered and shouted out their congratulations. Al's smile was huge. Ed was happy to see so many people gathered to celebrate his brother's success. They were easily the largest, rowdiest group in the bar. And Al definitely deserved some fun and a hefty congratulations. The exam had apparently been extra grueling this year since Fuhrer Grumman decided that the military needed to be more selective in choosing their alchemists. Ed assumed that the actions of Kimblee and Tucker had something to do with the Fuhrer's decision. But regardless of the difficulty, Al had been triumphant and risen above the other hopefuls to capture the title of State Alchemist.

Al's alchemist name had come from his unique ability to temporarily bind small pieces of his soul to inanimate objects and have them do his bidding.* Although it kind of creeped Ed out, it came easily to Al and he was very good at it.

"We knew you could do it buddy." Jean Havoc handed Al yet another drink he had bought for him.

"Thanks so much Havoc. And it's great to see you back!" After restoring Mustang's sight, Dr. Marcoh had used his Philosopher's Stone to restore Havoc's paralyzed legs. Havoc had wasted no time in returning to his military duties in Mustang's unit.

"Yes!" Armstrong has just returned from the bar and was carrying a massive tray of shots. "We never doubted for a minute that you had what it takes!"

"Are you trying to kill us Armstrong?" Fuery eyed the shots dubiously. "We've been drinking for two hours as it is."

"Never fear! Just use this drinking technique that has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" And he transmuted the drinks so that they were now bright green in color. The shot glasses had also been altered and now resembled hollow replicas of Armstrong's face.

"What did you do?" Sheska asked, fascinated.

"Why, I lowered the alcohol content and then made them taste more delicious!" Was Armstrong's enthusiast reply.

"Then what exactly is the point of them being shots?" Hawkeye asked, confused.

But Armstrong was no longer paying attention and was in the process of throwing back 3 shots in a row.

"At least his shirt stayed on." Lieutenant Ross winked at Hawkeye.

As the evening progressed so did the heavy drinking. Ed thought that everyone must have needed to blow off some steam, because the whole team had just seemed dying for an excuse to party. Al's success had provided them with one and they were now fully taking advantage. It was certainly helping Ed to keep his mind off of specific things. And although he'd never admit it, he realized how much he had missed these crazy people.

Mustang was now in the corner repeatedly and desperately trying to beat Armstrong at arm wrestling and losing badly. Sheska and Havoc were having a quiet and, seemingly intimate, conversation in an isolated booth. Fuery, Falman, Breda and Hawkeye appeared to be playing some kind of drinking game in which the First Lieutenant was clearly winning.

Ed noticed that Al was talking to Lieutenant Ross in a very animated way and with a very red face. Man, after all those free drinks Ed wasn't surprised. After nursing his own drink in the corner, Ed decided to be more social and went over to join the drinking game.

As the evening wore on, slowly in ones and twos people began to depart until just Ed, Al, Hawkeye, and Mustang were left. Ed was pretty drunk himself, but Al definitely had him beat. Only half an hour ago he'd dragged Ed up to a group of girls, telling them that Ed was the "very, berry, very bestest brother", urging them to talk to him. Ed sensed that several of them were interested in Al and a couple perhaps, in himself, but he just couldn't find it within him to flirt with anyone right now. "He's all yours, ladies. And believe me, you're getting the better brother." Ed said, and casually skirted away.

But now it was just the four of them, all sitting in a kind of drunken stupor. Except for Hawkeye that is, who looked exceedingly relaxed, but somehow still bafflingly sharp.

"Now, wha-what about you two?" Ed slurred his words and vaguely gestured at the Colonel and Lieutenant sitting across from him. "I mean….c'mooonn. We're not stupid you know. We all, all of us have eyes, you know."

Hawkeye gave Ed an innocent, bemused expression while Mustang smiled at her conspiratorially.

"Yeah…...Yeah! We all….we all have the eyes!" Al seemed to finally catch on to what Ed was suggesting.

I mean, you should, you should be the….be with the person...the person you feel for right? And you guys," Ed gave them a dopey grin, "Yeah. I think you do."

Mustang was also way too drunk to notice that Ed wasn't making any sense. "Alright, fine. Come here guys, c'mover here." Mustang gestured for Ed and Al to lean in across the table in a way that, Ed could only assume, meant Mustang would be imparting some deep and secret wisdom. With narrowed eyes Mustang studied their rapt faces, pretending to make sure he could trust them. Meanwhile, Hawkeye was leaning against the corner of the booth with the fingers of her left hand pressed against the bridge of her nose and her eyes closed, likely bracing herself for what she knew was coming.

"We've been secretly dating for months now!" Mustang boomed out, his voice well beyond the necessary volume needed to communicate the information. "Since a couple weeks after the Promised Day actually. And, and, and I think it's going really well!" He looked joyfully over at Hawkeye for confirmation. The lieutenant absolutely tried and failed to hide her amusement and only managed to nod.

"Whhaaaa? Thas great! Jus great!" Al slurred, looking truly pleased and also a bit confused. "I'm soo happy for you!"

"Yeah, congratulations too, you two, to the two of you." Ed managed to say. "I've always sought….always thought you were meant to be."

"That's nice of you to say Ed, Al." Riza was practically glowing. "Just do us a favor and try to keep it quiet around the office. Although I'm pretty sure that most everyone suspects at this point." She shrugged.

"Well, shall we be off for the night, my most beautiful Lootenent?" Mustang was looking at her like a drunken puppy dog.

Riza winked at them and took Mustang's arm. "Let's get you out of here Roy. Got to make sure you can still look your subordinates in the eye in the morning."

They said goodnight and Ed and Al watched them leave, their colonel leaning heavily on his first lieutenant's shoulder. Simultaneously they both sighed and were left to drunkenly contemplate the nature of love and what it really looked like in person.

*So this was a little bit of crossover from the 2003 anime/Conquerer of Shamballa movie. (One of the only bits I actually liked about the end of that show)


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A week after the celebration, Ed and Al departed for the East for what would be Al's first assignment as a State Alchemist. Al was a little nervous, but mostly excited. He felt like he was more than ready for this, and after months of leisure and relaxation was itching to get back into the field. The only difference between his and Ed's previous adventures and their new mission was that it would be the first one that Al would do in his actual body. He was excited for a chance to push its limits and and really discover what it was capable of.

Emotionally he was also feeling better than he had in weeks. Although he thought about Winry often, the thoughts had stopped becoming attached to painful physical reactions. He was now able to picture her face without feeling a dull pain in his chest and even mention her to Ed without his breath catching in this throat. Al thought that their return to Central had been exactly what he needed to try and move on. Interacting with old friends and colleagues again had been truly enjoyable, almost cathartic. That is, except for a couple interactions which he had just found confusing and strange. He decided not to focus on those now though, they were probably just weird flukes after all.

They stopped in the town of Arkana to try and get some information and additional directions. The townspeople of Arkana were the ones who had reported the strange occurrences and the possibility of another state alchemical lab. For years they'd assumed that the large warehouse located just three miles outside of town was used by the military for storage only. It was rare that they saw anyone coming in and out and downright strange to hear noises coming from the building. During the Promised Day the warehouse had lit up like a Christmas tree and about two dozen people had run outside. Military trucks had pulled up from out of nowhere and whisked the scientists away. That was the first and last time the townspeople saw them. Now after more than six months several people of Arkana reported hearing cries that sounded almost animal in nature.

"What are you thinking, brother?" They were doing reconnaissance behind some bushes about 200 yards from the warehouse.

"It looks completely different from all of the other state labs we've seen. But maybe that's because it's suppose to be secret." Ed shrugged.

"Yeah. I only see one entrance and no windows or surveillance devices. I guess they figured they wouldn't be needed way out here. We can probably just walk right up to the back wall and tunnel our way in."

"Sure. Sometimes the easy way is the best way right?"

And with that they started towards the warehouse, still exercising caution just in case someone might be watching. In no time the brick wall of the building towered over them, throwing them and the ground they stood on into shadow.

"Soul-binder, will you do the honors?" Ed asked, making a grand gesture towards the wall.

"Why yes, I'd love to." Al replied, matching Ed's overly polite tone. Al clapped his hands together and felt the power well up between his fingers. Planting his hands on the ground the dirt began to give way in front of him forming a neat, 7ft diameter tunnel in the earth.

"After you, Fullmetal." Al politely gestured to the tunnel's dark interior, continuing their charade.

"Why thank you Soul-binder!"

After walking about 20 yards in, Al began to tunnel up through the floor of the building. Ed raised up the column of dirt they'd been standing on, and they were slowly lifted up from the underground tunnel and into the first floor of the warehouse. It was just as dark inside the lab as it was in the tunnel beneath it. They both generated neon blue balls of light and started to look around.

To Al it appeared that they were in some kind of office. Stacks of paperwork littered several desks and many books were crammed into three bookshelves on the opposite wall. Two chairs lay haphazardly on their sides on the ground. Al inspected one of the desks. Much of the paperwork appeared to have the Amestris government seal on it. He accidentally nudged a pen and noticed something odd. Running his finger across the surface of the desk he came up with a thick coating of dust.

"I think this place is abandoned, there's dust everywhere." Al tried to hold back a sneeze.

"Yeah, I think you're right." Ed had been studying the bookshelves. "There's a lot of cobwebs over here…...these are all alchemy book, but they seem like the standard kind." He opened a book and leafed through it. "Well, nothing out of the ordinary here."

That's when they heard a noise from the hall, a low and angry growl.

"Chimera?" Al felt anger rise within him. The atrocities that the state performed under

Fuhrer Bradley's leadership were truly disgusting. He had hoped never to meet a lab-generated chimera again.

Dimming their orbs, they silently exited the office into a hallway where they began to follow the sound. Their ears led them to the very end of the hall and a large, metal door. The door was tall, probably 10 feet high, very thick, and had been left slightly ajar. Motioning for his brother to be ready, Ed began to pull the door open wide enough to admit their entry. It gave way with a deep, metallic groan. They both waited for a chimera to rush out and attack, but the low growls only continued and now they were accompanied by whimpering.

Al entered the room, bracing for an attack at any moment. He smelled a strong odor, one of decay and putrefaction. As he slid against the wall of the room he felt a light switch jab into his back. He turned around and flicked it on. The room became illuminated as one by one the above fluorescent lights turned on. Al was shocked to see the wall opposite to them lined with cages with thick, iron bars. Four of them appeared to be empty, but the other six held chimeras composed of a variety of different animal parts. The one that had been growling appeared to have the face and jaws of a wolf, the bulk of a grizzly bear, and the striped fur of a wildcat. The room also contained signs that it had been left in a hurry.

Al felt nauseous. "They just abandoned them here. Left them locked away to starve to death."

Ed had come in behind him and was taking in the scene with a familiar expression of anger and disgust. "Well, we should have expected something like this. The Homunculi and Father had no regard for human life. I'm sure they regarded animal life even less."

"Yes, but you would think the scientists working here…...someone…" Al felt frustration rise within him. He'd always felt strongly for animals and hated to see them suffer, even abominations like chimeras.

Ed walked up to inspect the empty cages. "Well, I know where the smell is coming from. These cages aren't empty."

Al came closer and noticed that a cage he had previously assumed was empty had the rotting corpse of a dead chimera in the back. "Ugh, that's horrible. I guess some of them already died of starvation."

They both processed the scene in silence until Al forced himself to ask, "What do we do with the live ones?"

Ed looked at him as though the answer was unpleasant but obvious. "We've got to put them down Al. End their misery."

Al did his best not to look squeamish but he didn't think Ed was buying it.

"Al, they're not normal animals. It's not like we can release them back into the wild."

"No, I know. You're right, unfortunately. I just didn't think my first assignment would include murdering helpless animals." Al added, sarcastically.

"It makes it waaay easier when you put it that way." Ed groaned. "Besides, they're not helpless. If we opened up one of those cages they'd try to cut us to ribbons in an instant."

While they were arguing Al had noticed an odd sort of box in the the shadows in the back corner of the room. In an attempt to put off the inevitable, he decided to distract Ed. "Hey, what do you think that thing is over there?"

Ed turned to look. "That white cube thing? I have no idea. It almost looks like a little room inside this room."

To Al it resembled a 15 foot dimensional cube just sitting on the floor in the back of the room, adjacent to the chimera cages. From this distance he couldn't tell what the walls were made from, but they looked hard and were an eggshell white color and faintly shiny. He headed over towards it, approaching slowly since he wasn't sure what the thing was. It was hard to see it actually, the light above the cube hadn't come on with the others. Al searched the walls for another switch nearby. Ed obviously didn't share his interest in the box object and was still by the cages studying the remaining live chimeras. Probably thinking about the most humane way to kill them, Al thought with regret.

He found the switch over on the wall to the left of the cube. He flicked it on without giving it much thought and waited for the above light to illuminate the cube. Instead he heard a strange grinding noise that froze his blood.

"Al, Al! What is that? What did you do?!" Ed shouted from the other side of the room.

"I, I don't know! I just flicked this switch to turn the light on!" Al slowly backed away from the cube, heading towards his brother.

The grinding sound was coming from the cube itself. An opening was slowly appearing. It was a door that was so flush with the cube's material that Al hadn't even realized it existed. He had reached Ed at this point and they both heard what sounded like a low hiss. Following the hiss a dark shadow fell across the ground as a very tall, lizard-like creature emerged.

And now the nature of the cube was apparent. It was a cage, another chimera cage, but it had been designed to hold a beast that iron bars alone could not contain. This chimera was at least eight feet tall and twelve feet long. Its face was broad and flat with two small, yellow eyes. Its body boasted shimmering green scales, colorful feathers around its neck, and a long tail ending in four sharp spikes.

"Well you said you were ready for more action, Al." Ed grinned at him. "Guess you're going to get your wish."

They stood still but ready, waiting for the chimera to launch a frontal assault. But instead of coming at them directly, the chimera glowered and opened its mouth. A stream of bright purple liquid shot forward towards them, splattering the floor where they'd both been only moments before. Fortunately, Al had dove off to the left towards the metal door and Ed had dove to the right, towards the chimera cages. Al glanced back at the floor where the liquid had hit and saw the concrete melting away and a large hole forming.

"Ed, it's acid, it spits acid. Be careful!" Al warned, again diving to the side to avoid the chimera's spiked tail.

"Acid, huh? That's pretty nasty." The chimera rounded on Ed just as he conjured large stone spikes from the ground. The lizard was incredibly agile and managed to avoid three of the spikes. But one of them sunk into its shoulder and the other into the base of its tail. It roared in fury and tried to shake itself free. The spike in its shoulder broke off and, to Al's surprise, so did the creature's tail, leaving behind only a nub where the tail had been with the remainder still skewered to the ground.

Al raised a thick, blunt column of stone from the ground and tried to bludgeon the chimera's head repeatedly. It reared onto its hind legs and smashed the column with a forearm, stumbling towards him, furious and dazed. From behind it Ed shot more spikes and succeeded in pinning it's back legs.

Still facing towards Al it shot out a stream of acid. Just in time Al created a thick wall of rock to protect himself. The acid ate through the wall, but fortunately dissipated before reaching him.

"You ok Al?!" Ed drew from the iron around him, creating a sword, and started slashing at the chimera's pinned legs.

"Yeah, fine!" Al started raising thick walls around the chimera, trying to hem it in. But what the lizard didn't smash it used its acid to breakdown. Some of the flying rubble hit Al, throwing him to the ground. The chimera was now bleeding copiously, but pulled itself free from the spikes holding its back legs and turned towards Ed. Ed backed slowly towards the chimera cages wielding his sword. He dodged to the side as it shot out a stream of acid. But the acid happened to melt the bars of the cage behind him containing the wolf chimera. Sensing freedom and a meal, it lunged towards Ed. He deflected its attack, landing a slash across its shoulder. But while he was distracted by the wolf chimera, the lizard shot another stream of acid. The majority of it hit the wolf chimera directly on the flank, but a small stream hit Ed's left leg. In an instant, the fabric of his pant leg was eaten away and the automail could easily be seen as its components corroded and warped. But the wolf chimera had fared much worse, and with a strangled cry melted away into nothing.

"Brother!" Al had surfaced from the rubble.

"I'm fine Al, it just hit my automail!"

Al leapt to his feet, summoning stone spikes. Although the chimera swerved, one managed to strike it through it's right eye. It unleashed a horrible scream and wrenched its head free. It was really enraged now, stumbling everywhere spewing acid in all directions and corroding everything in sight. It was all Ed and Al could do just to stay out of its way. The floor and walls were starting to look like swiss cheese and all of the chimera cages were melting away. All except for one. Al noticed that the lizard chimera's cube remained intact. That's it! Of course it needed to be made of a material that would be impervious to the lizard's acid and stand up to its strength in order to hold it in captivity!

"I have an idea Ed! Keep it distracted!"

"Yeah, I'll do my best."

Trying desperately to avoid falling through one of the holes in the floor, Al raced towards the cube. He just needed to touch it and figure out the correct alchemical components needed to recreate the material. He skirted by one massive hole, finally reaching the cube and placing his hands on it. He sensed a mix of quartz, titanium alloy, and polyvinyl chloride.

"You almost done over there, Al? I could really use some help!"

"Yeah, coming!" Al raced back towards his brother, now armed with the knowledge required to defeat their foe. As he ran he formulated what he hoped were the correct proportions of the necessary components.

"Anytime now, Al!" Ed was pinned in the corner with the lizard bearing down on him. Fortunately, it looked like it might actually be out of acid.

Al drew his palms together and felt the blue lightning begin to crackle. Focusing hard he slammed his hands to the ground, drawing out a massive white spike. It flew towards the distracted chimera and plunged into its back, surfacing again from its chest. Hoping desperately that he'd used the correct proportion of elements, Al watched the creature struggle on the spike. It seemed like an eternity but, after one last, massive roar, its body went slack and it breathed no more.

Al sighed in relief. "You ok, brother?"

"Yeah, I think so. Quick thinking using the cube's materials…..man, look at this mess." Ed limped out of the corner to join Al in the center of the room to survey the damage.

"Well it looks like we no longer need to put the other chimeras down." Al noticed that all of the cages had been corroded away, along with the chimeras inside.

"Yeah. Well at least it was a relatively quick death for them." Ed said, grimly.

"And we prevented a very dangerous chimera from breaking out and potentially heading to Arkana." Al shrugged. Somehow it didn't really seem like a great victory.

"A job well done!" Ed faked enthusiasm and gave him a thumbs up. Suddenly he stumbled a little.

"Wow, that looks pretty bad Ed. Can you still walk?" Al eyed the automail leg doubtfully.

"Yeah, it would seem so. But I don't think I can do much of anything else with it."

They were both silent for a moment as they realized what this meant.

"I guess we'll have to make a stop in Resembool on the way back for repairs." Ed finally said.

"You can stop. I think I'll continue on to Central. Since this was my first assignment I'd like to get our report to the Colonel right away." Although Al was feeling much better he didn't want to risk a relapse at seeing Winry again. Better to wait a couple more months, or as long as possible really.

Ed nodded slowly. "Yeah, of course. That's a good idea…...Well, shall we clean up this mess or just cross our fingers that the military will want to tear this wearhouse down anyway?"

"Hah, I doubt it. Since they now know it exists they'll probably want to actually use it for storage."

"Yeah, yeah, fine." Ed grumbled. "I'll fix the floor, you get the walls."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Ed knocked on the door of the Rockbell house and waited for an answer. Usually he would just enter but after his fight with Winry's he felt uncomfortable doing so. It had been a week since he and Al fought the chimera and more than a month since he'd been here last. Even though he'd done it so many times before, Ed couldn't help re-playing that final fight with Winry in his mind.

The entire train ride over he'd worked on repeating the mantra _she's your sister, she's like your sister_ over and over again. He didn't actually think he'd ever believe it but it was worth a shot. He was hoping that when he saw her again he wouldn't feel anything at all. Except remorse of course, because he still definitely needed to apologize.

No one appeared to be home, so Ed anxiously opened the door and looked around.

"Pinako? Winry?" He shouted into the empty house. No answer. Well, one last place to check. He headed over to Winry's automail shop next door. The shop was one floor with 12 food ceilings and a loft for storage. Winry had wanted it painted a pale blue with white trim and Ed thought the colors had been a good choice. Seeing it again made him proud. He was happy that he had contributed, however minimally, to helping Winry achieve her dream.

The door to the shop was wide open and Ed could see Winry working inside. He stood in the doorway, watching her like he'd done not so long ago. She was facing away from him, sitting on the ground with her knees bent and her legs sprawled out behind her. She appeared to be taking apart an automail leg and was facing some difficulty as the occasional grunt and curse came from her lips. And at this point his hopes were dashed, because at seeing her again he was certainly feeling quite a bit.

She had just paused with a sigh and wiped her hand across her brow when Ed spoke, "Hey Winry."

At the sound of his voice she stiffened but didn't turn around. Ed wondered if she was trying to compose her face. She was likely still furious with him.

But when she got up and turned towards him he was surprised that along with resentment she also looked resigned and a little sad.

"What are you doing here Ed? You should have called first, Granny's down in Rush Valley for the next couple days picking up some speciality parts."

Ed understood the obvious subtext of her statement, that Pinako was the only one here who'd actually want to see him, and she wasn't even here.

"I came to apologize."

Winry raised her eyebrows and looked skeptical.

"Well, I'm having some problems with my leg too, but I really did want to apologize in person."

"Fine. Let me take a look at it." Winry gestured impatiently for him to sit down.

"No. Apology first, then automail repair."

The corner of Winry's mouth twitched slightly. "Go ahead."

Ed took a deep breath. "I had no right to say the things I did to you, Winry. I was beyond rude and completely insensitive to the whole situation. You know that I can get a little…..overly sensitive when it comes to Al. You're both so important to me and I just want you to be happy. If you can't be happy with Al then I hope you'll find that happiness with someone else and I'll just go and keep my opinions to myself." He looked up to see if that would get a smile from her. No smile, but she no longer seemed resentful, just thoughtful and a little wary.

He ploughed on, "You were just being honest and as kind as possible towards Al. I see that now. I hope you can forgive me for being a hot-headed asshole…...I really am sorry." He finished, sincerely.

She studied him for a minute and he gave her an imploring look.

Then with a nod and a slight smile, "Ok, you're forgiven."

Very much relieved Ed fought hard to suppress a grin.

"Ok, now that that's over," Winry said, pulling a wrench seemingly out of nowhere, "let me take a look at that leg. Sit down and tell me exactly what happened."

Ed walked over and plopped himself down in the chair. It was similar to a dentist's chair in the same way that it supported and raised his legs with his upper body partially reclined. Winry sat down on a low stool next to him and waited patiently while he took off his boot and rolled up his pant leg. "There were rumors of an old state laboratory in the East and Al and I got assigned to check it out. Turns out it was there after all but had been abandoned not long ago, likely right after the Promised Day. There were a couple chimeras, the type that are more animal than human. They had just been left in their cages to starve. While we were trying to figure out what to do with them one of them got loose and attacked. It was some kind of giant lizard and it shot streams of acid." Ed grimaced at the memory, "I got sloppy and acid hit my leg. I was lucky that it hit my automail leg and not my real leg. Flesh and blood corrodes a lot more easily than plastic and metal."

"Jeez, it's a mess down here." Winry said as she poked at his automail leg, taking mental note of the half-melted components and which ones could be salvaged. "I'm surprised you can even walk on it. You might need a whole new one, but I'll see if this one can be salvaged first."

She worked on in silence. There was still one elephant left in the room. Ed noticed that Winry looked guilty as she paused, laid her wrench down and looked up at him, "How is Al doing?"

Ed searched for the right words. "He's not great, but he's actually doing well. Passing the State Alchemy exam helped. I think he's optimistic for his new position and the future. And you know Al, he's a good looking, sweet guy. Although he swears he's not interested, he's already got ladies breaking down his door in Central."

Winry seemed relieved and nodded. "That's good. I'm really glad. Hopefully he'll recover even faster than you think he will."

From there her focus was absolute as she assessed his leg, prying out melted and fried components and occasionally getting up to search the cabinet and loft for more parts. "It looks like the internal pistons are still intact, so I think I can get away with a repair and not complete replacement." She looked up at Ed and smiled.

Suddenly Ed grinned. "You know, this really brings me back." he mused, "Sitting in this chair with you adjusting my leg were the only times I ever got to look down on you. And now, just think that I get to do it all the time!"

"Yeah, well. To grow that fast in such a short period of time I'm sure your body had to sacrifice some brain cells or something." was Winry's rejoinder.

"Brain cells I have plenty of," Ed faked over confidence, "I'd take the height anyday."

"Hmphh." was Winry's only reply as she re-focused on her repairs. But Ed couldn't be happier, he felt like they were regaining their old rapport. Maybe if he could just get their friendship back to the way it was before Al's confession and their huge fight it would all be ok.

But as he watched her working he felt the familiar tightening in his chest, reminding him that it was always going to be much harder to think of her as just a friend than he thought.

"Actually Ed, I just remembered, but while you're here I do have one teeny, tiny change I'd like to make to the shop." Winry looked up at him from her work with a guilty smile.

"What! Another change? I feel like we've redesigned this place a dozen times because of your 'teeny, tiny changes!' " Ed made a show of sounding exasperated.

"Please? It really is small, I promise!"

"Fine. What is it?"

"I noticed that this corner over here gets kind of dark." Winry motioned to the space next to the cabinet. "If we put another window in on this wall it would be so much brighter and then I'd also have a great view of the valley."

"Alright, fine." Ed replied. "Where's the window?"

Together they lugged the new window down from loft and laid it up against the wall.

"Alright, here it goes." Ed thought for a second, then clapped his hands together and the usual blue lightning crackled up from between his palms. Placing them on the ground, the lightning erupted from the floor and then shot up towards the wall. The window was suddenly put into place with a neat little stack of lumber on the floor in front of it, leftovers from the wall where the window now sat. But something was wrong.

"Ed! What the hell is that?" The window had been properly installed, but now sported a garishly painted dragon over the top of it's frame. It stared down at them defiantly, breathing carved, wooden flames.

"Oh c'mon. I just thought I'd decorate the place for you a little bit."

"God, your taste is as questionable as ever." Winry groaned, but looked amused. "Please fix it."

"Fine." Ed gave a mock sigh and clapped his hands together to get rid of the dragon. "No more dragon. You happy now?"

"Yes, quite." Winry inspected the window and smiled. "Ok, now back to leg repair."

Ed threw himself back down into the chair and Winry once again took her place on the stool. They chatted intermittently and Ed was glad to realize that they must both be feeling more comfortable. The sun was low in the sky by the time Winry began to finish up. Finally she started to clean up by gathering the old melted and corroded pieces that she'd dropped to the floor during the repair. "Hah. Look at this piece Ed. Doesn't it look like it melted into the shape of Al's old helmet?"

Ed leaned down to take a look. "It does actually look like a flattened version of Al's helmet." He smiled to himself. Although he was thrilled that Al had his real body back, he would always have a certain fondness for the suit of armor that had housed his brother's soul for so many years.

He glanced over at Winry only to notice that their faces were now very close. She had been staring at him, her face slightly red and her expression unreadable. Ed felt his heart start to pound, but he just couldn't look away. Up close she was even more beautiful. Her skin looked so smooth and perfect and he couldn't help but notice how soft her lips looked. He tried to order himself to sit up, but his body just wouldn't comply.

Suddenly, Winry dropped the melted piece of metal. Ed was barely conscious of it clattering to the floor as she launched herself forward and in an instant she was kissing him, hard and fast, and with a longing that mirrored his own. Ed couldn't think, only feel, and respond. He was almost overwhelmed by the feel of her, the sheer presence of her body against his own. Her lips were just as soft as they'd looked and Ed reveled in their touch. She had pinned him down against the chair and was practically in his lap. Her arms were around his neck and his arms had come to settle around her waist. Unconsciously he pulled her closer and heard a small moan escape her lips.

Then, almost as suddenly as she'd come to him, Winry pulled away. Her face was flushed, and she looked breathless. But her eyes contained what he thought could only be hope. "Ed, I, I love you. I have for a long time now. I'm sorry to just surprise you like this, but I just…..I couldn't wait any longer."

The shock that Ed felt could only be equalled by his joy. Winry loved him. She had for a while! Dully, he wondered if it had been as long as he had. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered! Except that they loved each other. Fighting his natural embarrassment and inability to express his emotions he managed to take her hand and blurt out. "Winry, I love you too."

The look on her face was radiant and Ed couldn't believe that he was the cause of it. And suddenly they were kissing again with even more fervor than before. She was fully in his lap now and he fought his hands' desire to roam her body, forcing himself to focus on the feel of her lips and tongue as they collided with his. God, had he ever been this happy? Not since Al had gotten his body back, surely…...Al! Holy shit, how could he possibly forget?

Ed pulled away suddenly. "No, no. We can't."

"What? Why not?" Winry was breathless and felt a little high.

Ed didn't respond, but shook himself a little. Winry thought she understood. She was definitely have trouble composing rational thoughts right now herself.

Ed was looking down at this hands and she could no longer see his eyes. "Al loves you Winry. I, I can't do this to him."

There was silence as Winry processed this statement.

"But, but I'm sure he would understand. In the end." she said, feeling uncertain. "I mean, in time he would come to accept it. Right? Maybe even be happy for us?"

Ed put his hands on her waist and gently lifted her to the side so he could get up. He went and stood by the newly created window, still not looking at her. "Maybe. But we'd be causing him an awful lot of pain before he got to that point."

"So, so you're saying we can't be together?" Winry felt desperation rising up in her chest.

Ed said nothing.

"And what about my happiness, and yours? You would sacrifice being with me for your brother's peace of mind?!" But as the words left Winry's mouth she knew them to be true. She had always known that if it were her or Al it would be Al. And besides, there was something fundamentally wrong with coming between the Elric brothers. It would be like smashing some holy object or desecrating a grave. And even with her inability to return Al's feelings, the resentment and pain it would cause Al seeing her and Ed together would be severe. She knew that Ed would never purposefully do that to his brother.

Ed finally turned to look at her and took her hands. "I'm so sorry, Winry. This is…...it's really hard for me too." She thought he did look truly miserable with his golden eyes unusually hooded and his whole face tense. And it had only been minutes ago that they had been so happy…

She pulled her hands away in frustration but said nothing. She couldn't help but be resentful. It was a choice he was making, really. A choice that she understood, and even supported, but the anger came nonetheless.

"Maybe, in a few years….after Al's had some time, found someone else...maybe, maybe then?" Ed implored, the desperation evident in his voice.

But Winry just shook her head sadly. "That's fine Ed. I'm your automail mechanic and you're my foster brother. If that's the way it has to be then…...then..." But the tears were already welling up in her eyes and her voice cracked. God dammit, she cried too easily.

Ed hugged her to him, her head tucking naturally under his chin. Winry didn't feel like there was anything brotherly about it, but she felt comforted. Comforted and miserable, knowing that after tonight she could never seek this same comfort again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Ed had been back in Central City for two months now. Although it would never be Resembool, in its own way it was starting to feel like home. Since he and Al knew they would be stationed at Central or traveling for the foreseeable future, they had decided to rent an apartment instead of staying in the barracks. Even though he was sharing it with Al, renting his own place made Ed feel like an adult. It also created a sense of normalcy that had been missing from his life since his mother died. It was certainly odd, this sense of routine, but in a way extremely comforting after years of travel and the unknown.

After their assignment at the lab Al had beat Ed back to Central by two days. Shortly after they had gone on the promised food and beverage tour. Some of Mustang's team came along and everyone had a great time suggesting the best things for Al to try and where he should try them. Ed realized that he was surrounded by good people, enjoyed his work, and for once had a steady and mostly normal life. But ever since returning from Resembool he couldn't help but feel moody and tense. Maybe he was really at his best when he was traveling and the routine was turning him dull. Maybe he should put in a request to Mustang asking to travel more, and farther afield. Maybe then he'd finally be able to focus on what he did have and stop thinking about the one thing that was missing from his life.

Ed sighed and tried to turn his attention back to the alchemy book he was reading. It was a sunny morning and he and Al were sitting at the table in their new apartment. Ed happened to notice that Al was on his third bowl of cereal. Distracted again, he watched him for a minute over the top of his book. Al continued to eat, unaware that he was being observed. His brother munched away until quite suddenly he paused with the spoonful of cereal halfway to his mouth. Confused, Ed watched Al stare at the spoon with an obvious look of frustration. Suddenly, Al dropped the spoon down into the bowl and pushed it away from him.

Ed put his book down, surprised. "Are you OK, Al?"

Al turned towards him with a worried expression. "Ed, can I talk to you about something important?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Well," Al hesitated, "I, I'm not really sure how to put it into words. I just, I feel like there might be something wrong with me"

"Wrong? What do you mean?"

"I've been having some odd reactions lately. Compulsions really. They've been going on since I got my body back. At least, I can't remember them ever happening when I had my body the first time." Al looked really nervous, almost scared. "For example, it's really hard for me to stop eating sometimes, I just feel the need to keep going. And sometimes when I touch things, normal, everyday things, the sensation is really intense. Too intense. And other times I'll just randomly have the urge to do something and it will take a lot of willpower to stop myself from actually doing that thing."

"That's….that's really odd, Al." Ed felt deeply concerned. He had in fact noticed some of the things that Al was referring too, but hadn't thought very much about them. He remembered that time that Al had randomly smelled all those flowers in the garden in Central, and all the extra helpings he had been eating since having his body returned to him.

"I just, I feel like I'm not always in control…..and I don't know what to do about it." Al looked desperately down at his hands.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can…we're going to figure this out." Ed squeezed his brother's hand, trying to reassure him. In all honesty though, he had no idea what to do. This kind of thing was completely out of his wheelhouse. It must be terrifying to not have that kind of control of your body and he couldn't imagine how scared Al must be right now. They needed help, professional help really. Wait, professional help! Of course, why didn't he think of him before?

"I know, why don't we go and talk to Dr. Marcoh about it?! He's seen all sorts of human transmutations, even other ones involving suits of armor. He has to have some idea of what's going on with you. He probably knows how to fix it too."

"You think so?" Al looked hopeful.

"Yeah, I would think so." Ed was feeling more confident by the minute. "I'll give him a call and ask him to see you right away!"

The next day found them both in Dr. Marcoh's waiting room feeling impatient and nervous.

After the Promised Day Dr. Marcoh had spent several months in Ishval learning alkahestry and tending to the medical needs of the newly returned Ishvalan people. He did still maintain an office with the military, specifically under Mustang, and returned to Central City several times a year to file reports and attend meetings. Actually, they were lucky to have caught Dr. Marcoh now since he was leaving in another week for several more months in Ishval to help them rebuild and stock their new hospital.

The man has done a lot of bad things in his life, Al thought, but he's certainly trying to make up for them now. They waited impatiently on plush green chairs. Al noticed Ed rapping his fingers on his knees and bouncing his leg. Al was feeling quite anxious himself, but his body was strangely heavy, almost calm.

He put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "You're more nervous than I am."

"Ehh, I'm fine. I just have a lot of excess energy right now."

"Thank you so much for coming with me. I really do appreciate it, brother." Al gave him a weak smile, the best he could manage at the moment.

"Yeah, of course."

The door to the inner office swung open.

"So sorry to keep you waiting, Al, Ed. Please come in. It has certainly been a while." Dr. Marcoh smiled down at them from depths of his ruined face.

Although Dr. Marcoh had the opportunity to fix his appearance with the same Philosopher's Stone he'd used to restore Mustang's sight and Havoc's legs, he had declined the offer, saying that the stone shouldn't be used for cosmetic purposes. Al thought that his true motivation was likely more psychological. It seemed that Dr. Marcoh was was keeping his warped appearance as a sort of penance for his past actions against the Ishvalan people, and a constant reminder to do right by them in the future. In some ways Al thought it similar to Ed keeping his automail leg. He knew that Ed still felt responsible for the human transmutation they had attempted to resurrect their mother. Sometimes these kinds of scars were the physical proof that a person had grown and changed. Al thought that both Ed and Dr. Marcoh were fine with having these permanent reminders. And in Ed's case, it also didn't hurt that the automail leg made Winry happy.

"Please sit down and tell me all about your problem." Dr. Marcoh motioned to two more plush green chairs positioned to face his desk. The office was small, but Al thought that was because the doctor was rarely in Central long enough to use it. It had a large window but was mostly bare except for the desk, chairs, and a bookshelf.

They both plopped down, and after a breath Al began to tell his story. As the words flowed out of him he could tell that Ed was quite surprised to hear some of the things he revealed. Honestly, he was kind of surprised himself. All these small, seemingly insignificant experiences had built up over time to form a critical mass of evidence that something was clearly wrong. He knew that he should have confided in his brother, anyone really, sooner, but it was only recently that he had begun to sense this feeling of wrongness within himself. And now it was like every odd sensation, inexplicable reaction, and odd interaction seemed connected. But were they?

The entire time Dr. Marcoh listened intently, nodding and occasionally asking Al for further clarification on one point or another.

"And is that the whole of it, Alphonse?" Dr. Marcoh asked when he finally fell silent.

"Well….there actually is this other thing." He couldn't help but look over at Ed, feeling guilty. "I'm not even sure it's related, but it definitely has been strange."

Dr. Marcoh nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"Well, you see there's this girl I love. And I tend to get really flustered around her and my face gets red. I guess that's not so strange, right? But what is strange is that after we returned to Central City I also started to get flustered around Lieutenant Hawkeye, and Lieutenant Ross, and even Sheska." He felt his cheeks redden at the memory. "Do I love all of them? That would be ridiculous. And I don't think so. I mean, I certainly like them, but I just don't understand why I would have the same reaction to them as I do with Winry. I'm just really confused!" He suddenly turned towards Ed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this brother, I just didn't want you to think I was some sort of serial polygamist or being disloyal to Winry."

"Please don't worry Al, it's fine." Ed gave him a reassuring look that was still laced with concern.

"Can you describe your reactions to seeing or being near these women?" Dr. Marcoh asked.

"Well, when I see Winry, my heart pounds, my face blushes. Sometimes I have trouble controlling my breathing or my hands shake. And it's the same way with Lieutenants Hawkeye and Ross and Sheska."

"And you do not have this reaction to any other women?"

Al thought for a moment and then shook his head.

Dr. Marcoh stood up and started to pace, deep in thought. It was several more moments before he spoke. "What you two have to understand is that we are currently in uncharted waters. Although I have successfully bound souls to suits of armor before, I have never restored those souls back to their original bodies. As far as my research and experience has shown me, Alphonse, you are the only person who has successfully regained their body after living within an inanimate object. In summary, what we do not know in this case vastly outweighs what we do know."

"So...so you don't know what's wrong with me?" Al felt panic rise up in his chest.

"I didn't quite say that." The doctor held up his finger to stop Al from speaking further. "I have my suspicions as to what the problem is. However, what you have to understand is that right now there is no way to scientifically prove my suspicions are correct since we have no prior data on which to test them."

Al started to feel more hopeful.

Dr. Marcoh continued. "We don't actually know much about the connection between the body and the soul, or mind. Even alchemy has not been able to explain it. We do know that it is quite complex. Obviously you are already an unusual case since your soul was previously attached to a suit of armor, but what complicates the matter even more is that you lived as a suit of armor for almost a decade before regaining your body. A very long time to be separated."

He took a breath. "Out of all of your experiences I think your unusual sensations and sensitivity can be most easily explained, so let me try. At the gate, your body encountered no physical stimuli for many years. Similarly, your brain did not need to process physical sensations for just as long a period. Simply put, your body is not used to touching or being touched and your mind is not used to processing the sensation of physical touch. I am least concerned about this since you have already reported that the intensity of these sensations has decreased over time to a level you would report as 'normal'. Is this correct?"

Al thought about how the sensation of taking a bath had become less intense over time, along with several other situations. "Yes, that's true."

"Good." Dr. Marcoh smiled. "I think we can assume that with continual exposure your body will regain its comfort with these stimuli over time."

Al sighed in relief. "That's great, I'm so glad you think so." He looked over at Ed who also looked encouraged.

"Now I want to move on to your apparent loss of physical control." Dr. Marcoh walked a pace or two behind his desk and continued. "You were without your body for a very long time, and during your developmental years no less. Your body and soul were separated when you were 7, correct?"

Both brothers nodded.

"And you were 17 when your body was returned to you. I think it's obvious that your body, waiting at the Gate, continued to mature without your soul present. I think we can also make the assumption that your soul was maturing while in the suit of armor." Dr. Marcoh frowned slightly. "This means that your body and soul were separated while very significant change was occurring to both of them. Over the years your soul gained character, knowledge, and experience and fostered relationships. Your body physically altered as it changed from a child, to an adolescent, to an adult. And while these changes to your body and soul were happening simultaneously they were still occurring separately since the link between them had been severed. Is this making sense?"

"Yes, it sounds right to me." Al nodded.

"So all of this we know to be true. But here is where the truth ends and we dive into the deep, murky depths of conjecture. I believe that since your soul and body matured separately your physical body has developed an abnormal amount of independence. From what I understand of your experiences, it seems that this is at the root of you feeling a loss of control. Your body keeps telling your mind that it wants to keep eating or to do this and that and your mind fails to put a stop to it because it's not yet properly re-integrated into the body."

Al felt frustrated. "Does that mean that I'm weak of mind or will or something?"

"No I don't think so." Dr. Marcoh assured him. "Alphonse, you have a stronger will than most people I've met. I would try not to think of it as your body and your soul…..doing battle, but instead think of it as two cogs that are supposed to mesh together perfectly," he interlaced his fingers to illustrate, "but are currently out of alignment, causing one of the cogs to exert more control over the other."

"I guess that would explain my occasional lack of control. But what about my….feelings towards Winry and the Lieutenants?"

"Well it's interesting you put it that way, Alphonse. Saying 'feelings' I mean. I'm not quite sure you do actually have romantic feelings for them. And this is where things get tricky. I believe that, for whatever reason, your body is supplying reactions that are not actually supported by your soul. All of the reactions you described to me earlier were exclusively physical. You didn't describe any emotional or mental reactions that occurred upon seeing these women."

Al thought for a moment. He tried to picture each of the women in his mind. He knew that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with Sheska, Ross, or Hawkeye. But why was he reacting to them in this way and not to anyone else? "Yes, I guess the reactions were all physical. But why them? Why would I react to them in this way but not to any other women?"

Dr. Marcoh nodded slowly. "Well, that's another interesting question. Although I have no idea if this is correct, I can certainly take a stab at it. All of these women are very important to you? They were before you got your body back?"

"Yes, definitely."

"Would you say that before you got your body back you felt strongly about them, but not romantically interested?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Then it would seem that this is another form of dissidence that is occurring within your body right now. Your mind is telling you that these women are important to you in a platonic way, but your body is translating that into they are important to you romantically, sexually. And it then puts out the corresponding reaction." He paused. "Coming to sexual maturity is hard enough for those of us who stay in our body, I'm sure that having to mature separately from the soul complicated the process even more."

"So…..I don't actually love any of them. Even Winry?" Out of the corner of his eye Al thought he saw Ed stiffen.

"Well, I can't answer that. Although I'd say that it's definitely possible that you don't. You will have to do some soul searching on that end."

For a moment everything felt strangely surreal. Al couldn't help feeling like an interloper in his own skin. He had trusted the signals his body was giving him, listened to them and responded accordingly. Now he was left with this hollow feeling similar to abandonment. How much and to what extent had his body controlled him, deceived him? But he couldn't just sit here and feel sorry for himself, he had to do something, anything to make this better.

"Doctor, what do you recommend going forward? Is there a way to better reintegrate my body and soul? Or will it be this way for the rest of my life?"

Dr. Marcoh rubbed his chin thoughtfully and let out a deep exhale. "I would be surprised if this is permanent, but I think without intervention it would become so."

"Is there any kind of alchemy, anything we could try that would fix it?" Ed asked.

"No, alchemy isn't what's needed here. I think what would be the most beneficial is meditation. The goal is the realign the body and the mind, and meditation is a way of quieting both in order to achieve harmony. I would recommend several hours of daily, structured meditation, especially in different environments, even in different weather conditions. You will want to be listening to the messages that your body and mind are sending you, allowing the two parts greater and uninterrupted communication. Hopefully, after some time, your soul and body will re-acclimate to each other's presence and function together as equals once again."

"Really? You think meditation can fix this?" Al was skeptical. He had meditated before, albeit irregularly. This was a serious problem and he doubted the ability of meditation to alter his condition.

"You would be surprised at the power of a quieted mind and body. Obviously, meditation is not going to fix a broken arm, cure a disease or a psychosis, but for this specific case I think it's the correct tool to use in this very unique situation."

There was silence as Al considered this. "Alright Doctor, I trust your judgement." At least there was something he could do to try and fix this.

"Until this dissidence is hopefully resolved you're going to have to do a lot of work separating your emotions and thoughts from your physical reactions. For example, try to separate your body's reactions to the women who have been affecting you with how you emotionally feel about them. After every bite of food really search yourself to see if you're satisfied. If your body is compelling you to take some kind of action ask yourself if you really want to do such a thing, and why or why not it's a good idea. Such mindfulness will really be important for you in daily life going forward."

They continued to talk some more about how to manage Al's condition and even worked out a meditation schedule that placed him in several locations at different times of day to achieve a diversity of environments and stimuli. They left Dr. Marcoh's office with Al feeling relieved. He was so glad to know the probable cause of his recent problems, and felt confident that he could manage, and maybe even correct the reactions that had been plaguing him.

He turned to Ed who also looked relieved, but still a bit concerned. "I feel like a weight has been lifted. Thank you so much for coming with me. And for suggesting Dr. Marcoh in the first place."

"Yeah, of course." Ed smiled. "I'm just glad he was able to help. And if there's anything I can do to help you get better, you know where I live."

"Thanks, Brother. I think this is going to be more of a solitary, introspective journey than anything else. But I'll definitely let you know if there's anything you can do."

In an effort to continue raising Al's spirits Ed suddenly stamped his automail leg on the ground and raised his right hand in the air making a fist "Hey! Together there's nothing the Elric Brothers can't do! Right?!" He looked over at Al with a grin.

"Ugh, so cheesy Ed. True, but cheesy."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Two long months elapsed after their meeting with Dr. Marcoh. Al had been working so hard. Ed was proud of how religiously he stuck to his meditation schedule. Al even managed to meditate during travel assignments. Ed did his best to be supportive, he just hoped it would be enough. He couldn't stop the feeling helpless about the situation. It was probably the one time in his life that his brother had a problem that Ed couldn't help fix. And it was definitely hard sometimes. Now that he knew about Al's condition he could easily spot the times Al reacted strangely, or blushed or shook without cause. He felt terrible that Al had to go through this. When he felt this way though, he reminded himself that he was doing all he could and that this was truly a personal journal that only Al could embark on.

Fortunately, after two months of hard work Al had reported some change. He was no longer blushing upon seeing Hawkeye, and he was experiencing less compulsions. He was even able to feel physically satisfied after two portions of dinner. Al thought he still had a ways to go, but they were both buoyed by hope in the effectiveness of the meditation as treatment.

Of course during this time life still went on. Al had informed Mustang of his condition but stressed that it would not impact his work as a State Alchemist. In fact, Al wanted to remain in active duty as he thought that the normalcy and relative routine would benefit him. Mustang agreed and Ed and Al continued their work together.

They had just returned from a field mission when they were summoned unexpectedly to Mustang's office. Without much ado the brothers found themselves sitting before the newly minted Brigadier General Mustang.

"I'm sure you're wondering what this is about." Mustang was looking rather self important with a new star attached to his lapel.

Ed shrugged and looked disinterested.

Mustang became serious. "You both know that one of my new missions is to help repair the relationship between Amestris and Ishval. The Ishvalan war left behind a lot of young veterans on both sides. Many lost limbs in service to Amestris or in defense of their homeland." He paused. "The unique advantage of automail and the benefits of its use in military application has recently been brought to the attention of Fuhrer Grumman. I have been tasked with creating Amestris' first Automail Unit, a unit comprised solely of Amestris and Ishvalan veterans with automail."

A surprised silence followed.

"Huh. That's actually pretty cool. I mean….if they don't try to kill each other first." Ed smirked at Mustang.

Uniting veterans from two sides of the same war would be more than challenging. But Ed did actually like the idea. Automail had come really far in the past 10 years and a unit comprised of experienced soldiers who happened to have automail parts would be a huge advantage. And, more importantly, if the unit worked it could foster greater cooperation between the two peoples.

Mustang frowned at his comment. "Well, that aside, I need you both to deliver an offer of employment."

"A job offer? To who?" Al asked.

"Each soldier in this unit will have at least one automail limb. That's a lot of machinery. We need a good mechanic to keep them all in working order and of course, you all know the one."

Both brothers sat straight up in their chairs.

Mustang continued. "Miss Rockbell has made quite a name for herself in the automail industry and Fuhrer Grumman wishes to offer her the position of State Mechanic to the first ever Automail Unit. We're also interested in fostering Winry's talent by funding her research and development into new automail technology. We would set up a workshop for her here, in Central, and she would remain in residence or travel with the unit when the situation required. I was hoping you both could go to Resembool and ask her to join us."

"That's great! That's just great! I'm sure she'll want the job." Al grinned broadly.

"Yeah, she'll be thrilled. Definitely." Ed was happy for Winry's opportunity, but couldn't help feeling a bit subdued. It would be really hard to see her everyday after all that had happened. Still, she was his friend first, and he forced himself to shove his selfish feelings aside and just be glad.

Seeing them happy with the news Mustang almost smiled. "You two are cleared to leave at any time for Resembool. Please send word if she accepts the position so we can start to ready her space. You are dismissed."

Heading back to their apartment Al was really excited. "Just think how much fun it will be to have Winry here in Central."

"Yeah, it will be great." Ed shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and did his best to sound convincing.

Suddenly Al stopped. "You know Ed, there's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"Yeah, what's up?" Ed stopped abruptly a couple steps in front of Al.

"Well, you know I've been on this kind of solitary journey to close the rift between my body and soul? I've been doing so much thinking, so much feeling really. I've realized so many things. Sometimes I even feel stupid for not realizing them earlier." Al looked at Ed earnestly. "I wanted to tell you that…..now I know I don't love Winry. That I never really did."

Ed could feel his eyes get wide and his eyebrows shoot up practically to his hairline. "You, you don't?"

Al shook his head and gave him a faint smile.

"Oh." Was all Ed managed to respond. After hearing Al question if his love for Winry was real in Dr. Marcoh's office Ed had not actually allowed himself to hope. In fact, he tried not to think about it at all. No sense in false hope. Now, hearing it out loud it was almost too amazing to be believed.

"She's one of the most important people in my life." Al continued. "I do want her to be happy, I do want to make her happy. Those facts combined with my body's signals made me think it was love. And it is love, I do love her, but not romantically. I never have and never will. But….and this is another one of my new found realizations, I think you do….love her, that is."

Ed could only stare at his brother. "What? How?"

"This is where I need to apologize to you." Al looked serious again. "I don't know how I could have missed it. It's just so apparent now. I guess getting my body back effected me more than I realized. I never even wondered how you knew what it was like to be in love. Do you remember when I asked you?"

Ed nodded, dumbly.

"I'm really sorry that I missed all the signs, Brother. But I want you to know that you and Winry together would make me happy. Very happy actually. You're the two people I love the most afterall."

Ed finally found his voice. "Al I...I can't tell you how glad I am to hear you say that." He let out a relieved sigh and looked down. "And, you don't need to apologize. I'm just so lucky to have you as my brother."

Now that the initial shock was wearing off Ed could feel joy welling up within his chest. He and Winry could be together, they could be happy. Finally. Suddenly he was hit with an idea. He leaped into action and turning around started heading back to Central Command, practically skipping. "Al, you go to Resembool and tell Winry." He shouted back. "There's something I've got to do before she gets here. Call me as soon as she's agreed to come!"

Winry sat on the train to Central feeling both excited and anxious. To say she was surprised to be offered the position of State Mechanic was a massive understatement. Three weeks ago Al had showed up at her workshop and dropped the overwhelming news right at her feet. Just thinking about an entire unit of soldiers with automail made her practically tremble with excitement. And even more incredible, the military actually wanted to invest in her research and development. She just knew that she could realize some of her more ambitious designs with such support. If they were looking to be impressed by new and innovative designs in automail then she was their girl.

Winry gazed out the window at the gently rolling hills and trees. She sighed. Like all change, there was some sadness as well. With some regret she thought about her practically brand new shop in Resembool. Well, it wasn't like she was abandoning it, right? Paninya had finally agreed to move to Resembool and would be taking it over. Also, Granny would be coming out of her semi-retirement to help more as well. Winry's customers had been exceedingly disappointed to lose her, but she had done her best to extol Paninya's virtues and thought that they would be more than satisfied with her. She would definitely miss the light and airiness of the physical shop itself, miss the view of the valley as she worked. Although part of her felt like maybe this was growing up, leaving the familiar, the comfort of the known behind. She guessed it was time.

Winry heard a gentle snore and looked over at the sleeping form of Al, napping on the seat next to her. He looked so much younger when he slept, more like the boy who had lost his body than the man he was now. Under direction from Al, Ed had called her shortly after their meeting with Dr. Marcoh to tell her about his brother's condition and what was needed to hopefully remedy the situation. After hearing Ed's explanation and details of the symptoms, many past events now clicked into place for Winry. How many times when they were home had she noticed Al overeating? Or responding to touch in a strange way? Over the past two months Ed kept her updated on Al's progress, and she was relieved to hear that he seemed to be improving.

But she was still surprised when, along with the job offer, Al brought news of a more personal nature. After giving her a brief summary of his progress so far, Al had sat her down and explained his reactions to specific women, something that Ed hadn't mentioned at all during his phone calls.

"So, your body was sending you all these signals but your mind, you heart didn't-doesn't actually feel emotionally attached to Hawkeye or to Ross?" Winry was confused.

"Well, in a way I am emotionally attached to them. They're very important to me, we've been through alot together. My body thinks-thought that I had romantic feelings for them. My mind and heart know better. It just took me a little while to realize which one to listen too."

"Ah, I see." And Winry thought that she did. She was sure that getting your body back after 10 years must be a complicated process.

Al had looked at her with bright, earnest eyes. "Now Winry, I want to tell you something and I want you to know that I mean it in the best possible way. The way I responded, reacted to Sheska, Ross, and Hawkeye, it's the same way I reacted to you. I don't love you. And I'm pretty sure you're ok with that, right?"

Winry had never received a declaration of 'not love' before but was ecstatic to hear it. "Really?! It's true? It was just your body reacting the whole time?"

Al nodded and smiled. "And I know there's someone eagerly awaiting your presence in Central City."

She looked at him in wonder. Of course he had already told Ed. They could finally be together! And Al was okay with it! She could barely believe how it had all turned out.

"Also Winry," Al interrupted her thoughts, "I thought you should know that I've been looking at you all morning and I haven't blushed or stuttered once. Do you know what that means? Progress."

The arrived in Central City midmorning and Al escorted Winry to her temporary lodgings in the barracks.

"We can all go and start looking at apartments with you tomorrow if you'd like."

"Yeah, that would be great." Winry couldn't help looking around and wondering where Ed was.

"Until then, let me show your workspace. I think Mustang had someone arrange everything to your specifications."

Her workspace. Winry couldn't help but feel a little disappointed knowing that no matter what it wouldn't measure up to her shop in Resembool. But this was a new start, she reminded herself, and change was good.

Al led her about a block away from Central Command and stopped in front of a small blue house with white trim.

Winry's breath caught in her throat. "What?! How?!"

The exterior of the house was identical to her Resembool shop down to every detail! The two windows in the front framing the extra wide door, the delicately slanting roof rising slightly more than a story off the ground, the small uncovered porch, all of it was exactly the same.

"Why don't you take a look inside?" Al smiled at her coyly. "I'll wait out here."

In shock Winry mounted the porch steps and slowly entered the building. Inside was identical as well. No, actually that wasn't true. It was slightly bigger and better stocked than her shop in Resembool. More cabinets lined the walls, four of the dentist-type chairs were lined up in a neat row, a giant pegboard hung full of tools was mounted on one wall, and the loft was stocked with more spare parts than she'd ever seen outside of Rush Valley. She didn't even realize that her hands were clapped over her mouth in shock. It was beautiful, it was perfect.

"You like it?"

Winry spun around to find Ed leaning against the wall near the door with his arms crossed. She was so taken with the space that she hadn't even seen him when she entered. Likely his plan the whole time.

"Like it? Ed, I can't…I don't even know what to say. It's perfect! More than perfect. You did all this?"

Ed nodded with a faint smile. She thought she detected a slight blush.

"It's amazing! It really is!" She spun around trying to survey it all again and all at once. "Thank you! Thank you so much! I can't believe you did all this." She stopped turning and approached him slowly.

He looked away from her as his classic 'Ed-ness' seemed to overcome him, "Eh, it's no big deal. Didn't take me long at all."

She was about two feet away from him now and felt heat rise up in her face. "I talked to Al, you know. He told me everything."

"He did, huh." He was still looking away. She thought he must be holding back a sarcastic remark, his usual defense in tense situations.

He might try to deny his nature, but Winry wouldn't deny her nature to tease. She worked at making her voice light and casual. "Well, if you no longer feel the same way about me I completely understand."

"Feel the same way?! Winry! Why the hell do you think I did all this?" Ed clenched his fists. "I love you just as much as I did two months ago, as I have for years!"

Winry smiled, revealing her subterfuge. "And I love you, Edward Elric." Moving slightly onto her tiptoes she kissed him gently. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer.

She had no idea how long they kissed for, it could have been three minutes or three years. Her heart felt so full, her soul never before so content.

Ed pulled away gently and looked into her eyes as if trying to discern something important. "Are you going to cry?" He asked, concerned.

She smiled up into those beautiful, golden eyes. "No, I don't think I'll cry over the Elric Brothers ever again."

The End.


End file.
